Location: Padonia Rd and Beaver Dam Rd, Timonium, MD
Rating: 3.6/5
Description: This weekend a lot of people in the Baltimore area had their image of the suburbs shattered as the ‘civility’ bubble around Columbia was penetrated by a crazed gunman. In light of this event I wanted to take this moment to reassure all my Baltimore area readers, both city and suburb, that no matter where you live it is a raging, festering, complete-and-utter shithole.
I often hear people in suburbs a mere stone-throw away from the Baltimore line exclaim their geographical superiority to those whose homes they could walk to based solely on an invisible boarder which they believe separated them from “the bad area”. I want to reassure them that no matter what they have lead themselves to believe, they are most certainly still frighteningly likely to be violently taken from this earth at a moments notice for events that may not involve them at all.
This dude may run out of money for his next fix and decide to borrow their wallet, or his dealer may decide to expand into new neighborhoods and they may be caught in the middle of the expansion effort. Regardless of the reasoning, you are most certainly, 100%, undeniably living in a fucking horrible place.
Conversely, people in the city are often downplaying the excitement of the suburbs, criticizing the lack of transit and activities. Let me assure you, there is nothing more exciting than facing death straight in the eyes as you traverse the roads after a light dusting of snow. It takes balls to live in a place where you lose power after a light breeze blows through your development, and the days it takes BG&E to restore that power has been described as a roller coaster of emotion.
So lets place our petty differences aside people of the Baltimore region, and just agree that whether or not you’re city or county we all live in the fucking asshole of America, where our lived could be wretched from our hands without a moments notice and there isn’t shit any of us can do about it.